Wednesday, 11 April 2007

Shock! Horror! Blitzen! Disaster!

We’ve just returned from our first Easter holiday out of England in a decade with a first visit to Majorca. Apart from suffering a good deal of….rain, thunderstorms, cold, no sea-swimming and Brit TV in the villa, the shock was just how delightful Majorca and the Mallorcans were.

There are 3 activities guaranteed to make our (essentially, our girls) holiday go swimmingly….
1. The Sea
2. The pool
3. Animals – anything from a stray kitten to a beached jellyfish.

As 1 and 2 were out of order, we trekked to ‘Safari-Zoo’ near Cala Millor. The reality didn’t quite match up to the glossy leaflet. Whilst the train ride through the Park allowed us to see various ‘wild’ animals roaming ‘wild’, the zoo section was distressing: in particular, a lone giraffe ploughing a furrow up from left to right to left to right…..tigers and lions looking scruffy in their respective 20foot square cages…worst of all, 2 lovely adult chimps who appeared to be stir-crazy. Amazingly, one German – probably about 40-ish and probably the CEO of Audi Deutschland – started to leap up and down in front of the chimps. As a result, the 2 chimps ran around their cage and threw themselves against the bars. This caused great mirth to most of the watching Germans, French, Spanish, Brits. Bloody astonishing and depressing!

If you visit Majorca you can’t fail to see and/or tangle with the wave-like hordes of German bikers. Germans of every size, sex and shape cycle and sweat and drink their holiday away in migraine-inducing coloured lycra over the Majorcan landscape. Pass me another plate of paella.

Returning from the airport we drove into our glorious township only to find Great Bickering had become….The Town With No Name. The town sign that read ….”GREAT BICKERING TWINNED WITH BADER-MEINHOF” and then a small German flag”…had disappeared! (see pic below)

What has happened to our town sign?
Has GB been merged with…Bader-Meinhof?
Am I the only concerned citizen in GB, er B-M?

I will investigate, write to that supersleuth Mr Blair and report back.

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